At a loss for words

I am 23 years old and I have my 3rd wisdom tooth painfully making its way out. If we consider the average human life span to be about 60 years, I am pretty close to having lived half of it. Some might think (at least I do) that I have lived long enough to be able to have strong opinions on major issues and be able to get words out of my head and string sentences together to express myself in a coherent manner. But recently I have started to notice that is not really happening with me and it is just not about eloquence. I look around me and watch my friends debating on every other issue and taking strong stands and defending their views almost like their lives depend on it. It is quite amazing how they do it. Talk on an issue for hours and hours at a stretch. Am I ever going to be able to do that ? I have noticed I am a better listener most of the times and manage to pepper the conversations with ‘out of the way’, wacky questions. Is this just an excuse to make others speak more, to compensate for the words that I lack ? Would this be called being shy ? Ironically I have done a lot of public speaking in high school and managed to put across a very confident personality. This is probably the reason why the incoherence is even more confusing. Sometimes there is so much going on my head. Some of it, I realize only later could have meant so much had I just let it out at the right moment. I have always understood how important it is to be able to express yourself clearly, however I have also realized its easier said than done. There are countless internal barriers that subconsciously try to pull you back and you have to be strong enough to lose all inhibitions and speak your mind. Because in the end, your thoughts matter too.

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